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Happiness Tuesdays

The Search for Happiness

Stability

If you come from a stable home and a stable upbringing, you have SO much to be thankful for.

I know that stability doesn’t automatically mean good and it doesn’t automatically mean happiness…but I do know that coming from a stable home is a privilege that not everyone has.

The older I get, the more I realize how many people do NOT come from stable backgrounds. Many people grew up with parents who were addicts, many people grew up with parents who were struggling financially, many people grew up with food insecurity, and many people grew up with a combination of issues.

A friend of mine recently shared more about her background with me and she came from the opposite of a stable home. She was constantly worried for her security and safety. Often she didn’t know where her next meal was coming from.

By all accounts, you would never know today that she grew up with so much insecurity. She has worked through so much of it and has created a great life for herself. However, even she talks about how her upbringing has shaped and molded her and how it impacts the decisions she makes and the way she thinks.

Our past has a great impact on our present - we can do the work to move forward in a positive way, but our life experiences shape us. We cannot undue what has been done, but we can break the cycle of many different kinds of instability and insecurity by the choices we make.

I don’t believe that growing up in a stable environment is a predictor of happiness - but I certainly believe that it is a privilege worth being thankful for.

Recommended Book

Habits of the Household

Nov 09, 2021
ISBN: 9780310362944

Interesting Fact #1

Having married parents typically means that children live in families with more resources, including more time with their parents, and with greater stability.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

Study after study shows a strong correlation between marriage and a wide array of positive outcomes, and also shows that the benefits of marriage are larger than would be predicted by economic factors alone.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

Our working group agrees that the research evidence indicates that, on average, children who have (a) two parents who are committed to one another, (b) a stable home life, (c) more economic resources, and (d) the advantage of being intended or welcomed by their parents are more likely to flourish. In general, we believe that evidence suggests that marriage is the best path to the favorable outcomes highlighted above. Marriage is of course not the only path that allows children to succeed; many children raised by single parents and cohabiting parents thrive in life. Even so, in the United States marriage continues to be the institution most likely to combine the four benefits outlined above for the sake of children.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“A stable, loving family is something that should absolutely, fundamentally never ever be taken for granted” ― Drew Barrymore

Article of the day - 6 Ways to Create a Stable Household for Your Family

No home is perfect, no matter what your friends, neighbors, or sitcoms led you to believe. This doesn’t mean that all homes are broken or dysfunctional… However, every home should be stable. A home should be a haven for the family. This is where your household should be able to relax and unwind. Children quickly pick up on things and feelings that are around them. Having a stable household is going to help them with their development and let them know that they can always be comfortable at home. These are some tips to help create stability in your home.

Start with creating a routine

It’s best to allow for flexibility with your schedule whenever you’re setting up your routine. Why? Anything could happen, such as having to clean up a mess, food is taking longer to cook, or maybe someone is a little slower today than usual. This flexibility can also allow for more quality time with your family. It’s important to have a structure within your day. So try to strive to be consistent with what time you and your children wake up and go to bed, as well as the times to eat. 

While your schedule as a parent should be flexible, so should your children. Allow them to have time to do entertaining things each day such as read, watch TV, play games, or maybe participate in extracurricular activities. Also, look into discussing with your family weekend activities that each of them would like to try. Having a good and flexible structure is the start to having  good household stability.

Talk out problems

While many households will shout to get their point across, in the end, it never works out. This will only break families apart and ruin what stability there is. Communication is essential for any stable home. But it’s so important to communicate calmly. You need to be an active listener, and the same goes for the rest of the family too. There’s a time to talk, and there’s a time to listen. If there are issues, they need to be discussed in a calm manner rather than a heated argument. There could be an array of problems that could get heated, especially with your spouse such as finances or searching for accomplished personal injury attorneys.. It’s best to avoid talking about any important conversations whenever either party is distracted emotionally. 

Have healthy habits

Whether it’s indoors or outdoors, the whole family must stay healthy. This can include exercising, whether it be together or individually. But it also means having healthy meals with enough nutrients and calories, as well as snacks. Junk food should be okay as long as it’s in moderation.  While eating healthy can be boring, there are plenty of healthy and fun recipes that you can prepare with your kids and spouse. A healthy body and a healthy mind are key to your happiness but together this can tremendously help with having a stable household.

Eat meals together

Gathering together for a meal is a great opportunity to talk with your spouse and kids. It’s great for catching up on what each person has been up to, as well as getting advice if anyone needs it. Families who eat together tend to enjoy each other’s company far more. This drastically helps with growing a connection with your loved ones. Even if lunch or breakfast isn’t an option on weekdays, try sitting together for dinner on weeknights, and have breakfast and other meals together during the weekends. Try your best to make this a regular occurrence.

Home is a safe space

Home should be a safe space for you, your spouse, and your children. Everyone in your home should feel secure at home but also as if they belong. Your children should be able to be comfortable in their own home, especially their bedroom. A bedroom is a place for privacy where people can just be alone. It’s vital that their bedroom is somewhere they can enjoy being. Whether that means redesigning it with some new bedroom wall planks or simply making sure it represents their personality, it’s going to make a huge difference.

As long as everyone feels that home is a safe space, that is going to help a great deal to make the household a lot more stable.

Set a work-life balance

For both you and your spouse, it’s so important to understand that there needs to be a work-life balance to achieve stability at home. This doesn’t just mean getting to do what you want when you’re outside of work such as tending to your hobbies or just hanging out with friends. It also means taking quality time to be with your family and hang around them. You and your spouse need to be available and your children need to know that you are available and present for when they need to reach out to you. Your undivided attention and love are very important and those need to be present for your children. 

P.S. This post contains affiliate links.

Question of the day - What is your most memorable experience as a child and how has it impacted your life?

The Search for Happiness

What is your most memorable experience as a child and how has it impacted your life?