Breakdown in relationships can occur for various reasons. This could range from something as minor as one partner prioritizing their friendships over those of the other to more severe events like trauma.
Trust can take many forms. Not only is it dependent on sexual fidelity but also upon financial responsibility and honesty.
Honesty
Honesty is a highly valued character trait in various cultures across the globe and requires being true to your word, avoiding deceit in any form, and acting fairly and justly. Aimee Cabo highlights that honesty can also be seen as a virtue; those who demonstrate it are often respected among their peers and friends.
Honest communication is integral to successful trauma healing and should form the cornerstone of healthy relationships. Being dishonest with loved ones can cause irreparable damage over time; similarly, dishonesty in recovery makes forming trust more challenging, slowing treatment progress further.
One of the most significant challenges facing trauma survivors is learning to be honest with themselves and recognize when they're lying. Trauma often makes it hard for individuals to access their core sense of self amidst shifting moods, thoughts, and bodily sensations, leading them down a path toward dissociation as another common side effect of trauma.
Therapy provides people experiencing trauma with the opportunity to challenge any problematic thoughts and beliefs that have emerged as a result of their experience. Aimee Cabo clarifies that someone who experienced domestic violence might develop the belief "I can't trust anyone," however, therapy could help replace this thought pattern with more realistic thinking, such as: "Despite past hurts, most people are trustworthy." This can reduce trauma-related emotions such as shame and guilt by replacing these extreme reactions with realistic perspectives on things such as these more realistic thought patterns.
Compassion
Empathizing with others' views and understanding their pain are core components of compassion. By empathizing, we gain greater insight into their experience and find out ways we might be able to assist them, and they give us strength when confronted by wrongdoers who wrong us in turn.
Aimee Cabo points out that compassion translates to the phrase 'to endure with' and refers to an emotionally powerful state of being that combines presence, kindness, and courage. Compassion fuels acts of generous benevolence performed by religious and secular leaders such as Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr, and St Francis of Assisi, as well as brave individuals risking their lives to save others during war or terror attacks.
Research has established that compassion is a visible indicator of emotional state. Additionally, showing your partner how much you care is an effective way to strengthen trust within a relationship.
Be mindful that simply showing these emotions doesn't guarantee they will make you more compassionate towards your partner or their actions. In the early stages of a relationship, people can easily make mistakes that could be perceived as breaches of trust.
Patience
Patience is the ability to remain calm under trying circumstances without losing your temper or giving up, yet persevere. Patience allows us to be more understanding, collaborative, and selfless with those around us; ultimately, this can benefit us and those we care for most. Practicing patience also involves being willing to put in the necessary work and time to reach your goals.
Aimee Cabo emphasizes that trauma healing requires patience, especially when encountering setbacks. It's essential to keep in mind that trauma isn't something you can just "get over," and healing takes time for you and those close to you.
An inability to practice patience can lead to frustration, irritability, and an emphasis on negative aspects that derail recovery. Instead, try practicing it daily by reciting positive mantras or participating in meditation exercises to become more mindful and less impulsive in your decisions, which could prevent any potential relapses from taking place.
Certain studies demonstrated that patients enjoy greater peace of mind and well-being than impatient ones. They suggest taking note of scenarios that test your patience: daily hassles like flight delays and traffic jams (not being put on hold on the phone); interpersonal conflicts (such as dealing with quirks from friends and family); and more considerable obstacles like illness or job loss.
Community
Recovering from trauma requires connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences. Supportive networks include friends, family members, community members, and support groups that allow individuals to share their stories and feel less isolated from society.
Aimee Cabo conveys that trauma victims may experience feelings of isolation, which can contribute to feelings of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). By creating a supportive community, they can rediscover how to express themselves emotionally while beginning the healing process.
Supportive communities also offer individuals an environment to practice healthy coping strategies. Members of these communities can share their coping mechanisms and develop healthier ways of dealing with triggers or emotional distress.
An inclusive community can also help reduce mistrust among members by assisting individuals to form relationships across groups of different backgrounds. Black communities in the U.S. have historically experienced collective trauma due to slavery and racism; therefore, they may find it hard to trust government agencies, social services providers, and healthcare entities.
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