Today I talk about what to do if we have someone in our family who is struggling with mental health issues. I received this question last week for one of my FAQ videos and thought it was better suited for a Monday vid :)
The question is:
#katifaq How much should you excuse someone with depression? My little sister has been diagnoses with sever depression and panic disorder. Understandably, she's not herself, she's short tempered and irritable, but also quite vindictive and mean. She used to be really sweet, and I understand this is part of her illness, and just let it go, but she does it to our baby sister too (and she can't understand that it's not her fault). As a family we've been letting her take her frustrations out on everybody, and I wondered if it's the right thing to do? I have a very good relationship with her, and often will gently tell her afterwards if I think she's been particularly harsh to someone else. Sometimes it upsets her, and I worry that I'm just adding to her negative voices. Is it best to let her know when she's being hurtful, or to give her a break from any criticism in order to build herself up against her negative voices? I love her so much, and just want to do what's best to help her, but I don't want our baby sister to feel hurt either. Help!! xxxxx
I discuss how I take a 3 pronged approach with my clients:
1. family therapy: this gives us a safe place to talk about all that is going on in our family and have someone there to mediate the conversation and keep it on track
2. Externalizing the problem: this can help the person with the mental health issue not feel so ganged up on and can allow the family to talk about the "depression" instead of blaming it on that person
3. Personal therapy. It can be hard to not only take care of ourselves but also worry and care for someone with a mental illness. Therefore, we need to have a safe place to vent and get support that is all about us.
I hope this helps you better manage this within your family! As always, leave any experience or tips you have in the comments section :)
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Please watch: "Mitchell Davis talks Agoraphobia, OCD & Panic Attacks | On The Couch Ep. 3 with Kati Morton"
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