Sometimes I think you forget
that I love you. That you are
my everything. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.
I wouldn’t have stayed. Under God’s roof
we promised. Slender soft fingers held
in mine, my mother’s ring slid into place. It barely stayed on
as I said my vows to you.
Never leave me. Never hate me. Never hurt me.
But you did. You tried, and I held on.
Because these gold rings were soldered on,
tied together with the red string of fate.
Every push or pull, grasp or shove.
Connected together. That’s why it hurts.
My metal ring digs into my clenched hand
when your eyes wandered, like a fly behind glass.
At the park, the store.
Flirtatious grins, lustful words.
Your red lips stained the color of a whore’s.
I swallowed my beating heart, and twirled my wedding ring,
winding my string to pull you back in.
Can’t you feel my tug? Can’t you feel it
burn as you smile at another.
On your loose finger, maybe I should pull it off,
before the fire burns your skin. Maybe I should
let it.
But I love you.
I wait for you, every day
you tell a new lie.
You were with friends, work was busy,
visiting your mother.
I almost believe you, theses tales coated
in honeyed lip-gloss.
But I can smell them on your breath. Why
do you hurt me? Spreading your legs
for every man, screaming his name.
I want you to scream,
only mine.
Because I love you.
I raise my voice so you can hear sense,
I hold you to make sure you listen.
You have to see how selfish you are,
how you have failed God who united us.
It makes you ugly, makes you stupid,
Embarrasses you, embarrasses me.
How could anyone love you, worse than trash,
just an overused sex doll.
I love you, just the way you are.
You’re so frail, so fragile, precious
porcelain, the finest glass.
Hiding under your tough words,
are icicle bones that shatter.
It takes so much make up
to make you skin clear again,
that color only I can love.
I can still hear the creaking
of your jaw as you speak,
or when we kiss. You didn’t always want to
give in, but I didn’t give up. I never will.
You love me.
After anything, I still hold you in my arms,
your shivering body needing my warmth, tangled in the red string of fate,
guilty tears wash out blood sins.
I hold your shaking hand in mine, kissing the snapped,
swollen finger, that holds your promise in place.
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