Meeting Your Partner’s Family

Here are some survival tips to help you manage meeting the family without feeling your own sense of self slip:

• Meeting new people is a two-way thing. You’re meeting them, they are meeting you, everyone is supposed to be courteous and make an effort.


• Being watchful is never bad.. Evaluate and understand family dynamics before you try to win their hearts.


• No one was every disliked for not saying too much. If nervousness makes you a blurter, sit on your hands, or wear a bracelet and fiddle with it.


• The relationship the family has with your partner/date spills over onto how they see you. If there’s tension or a chill, it will hit you too. Try to get the back-story story before you do the meet n’ greet.


• Remember that when you are meeting your partners’ family, part of your job is to support him(or her). BUT, you also deserve support back, so feel okay asking for it.


• Family situations, especially after a couple of days, can make people regress. Your SO may slip into some old behaviors; just remember you’ll ultimately end up back in real life, on your own and this stuff can end.


• Complement, don’t compete. You’re on the satellite team, so don’t get wound up by the family.


• When you disagree (and you will), do so respectfully. A safe approach is to restate what the person just said and then state what you feel. Ex: “I understand that you are thrilled Prop 8 passed in California. My own feeling is that Prop 8 should not have passed and I am currently working to repeal it.”


• No one can fault you for sharing your point of view, just for disrespecting theirs.


• It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. Remember you’re going to see them again. And again. And again. Behave accordingly.


• Be willing to sit this one out. If the situation is crazy or devolves to where you’re not comfortable with the family dynamics, remember that even if your SO wants to take part, you don’t have to. The white lie is always “Sorry, I am not feeling well”—Just make sure to bring a good book; DON’T fib and then have them catch you at the mall.