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Outlooks & Setbacks Saturdays

Determination & Achievement

Teaching Your Children Grit & Determination

How do you teach a child grit and determination? In my opinion, you teach them this by giving them experiences where they have to dig deep and learn it for themselves. They have to have opportunities to fail and get up and try again.

In the midst of this, as parents, we need to encourage them and model for them what grit and determination looks like.

The trouble is that as parents we like to shield our children from the hurt of failure. It is not fun to watch your kid fail at something and then suffer the consequences. However, if we never let them experience what it feels like, they turn into spoiled, entitled adults who cannot cope with the realities of adulthood.

Where I live, the world has been designed so that kids very seldom experience these hard realities. For example, in school the teachers are not allowed to fail kids who do not do their work. There are little to no consequences for choosing not to show up and do the work. It teaches kids that they get a free pass with no effort and it does the opposite of teaching them how to have grit and determination.

I have school aged kids so I understand how hard it is to give kids the opportunity to fail and try again. It’s heartbreaking. The truth is though that our job is to raise kids who grow up to be productive and kind adults who contribute meaningfully to society; that requires grit and determination.

What do you think? How do we teach our kids to have grit and determination?

Recommended Movie

True Grit

Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon
2010

Interesting Fact #1

Grit isn’t a magical solution for all situations and challenges. There are times when grit is not the right character trait to point to for your child, and it takes attunement and wise judgment to skillfully discern when — and when not — to teach kids grit.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

Embody and model grit for your child. This is the most powerful way for them to learn what grit truly is. Witnessing a parent try with all their heart and fail well and try again will teach them more about grit than any Ted Talk or lecture ever could.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

Stories of perseverance, determination, and passion are powerful teachers for children.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Article of the day - Grit

Grit is a construct that is said to summon both passion and perseverance in service of a long-term goal. It's a marathon, not a sprint, as they say. In other words, gritty people put in sustained effort over time to achieve a high level of success in their chosen domain.

Contents

What Is Grit?

Rocksweeper/Shutterstock

Everyone loves hearing about the overnight sensation who made it big with that one lucky break; he's the upstart composer who wrote his first song while asleep, then he won a Grammy at age 19. Wow. Of course, this romanticized version of success is not what we're talking about here.

We are talking about grit. If you're gritty, you attain success through endurance, perseverance, resilience, passion, hard work, and practice, practice, practice. If you persist and face all the obstacles, you may just win, argue those who tout grit as a component of success.

What does having grit mean?

There are two proposed components of grit: finding your passion (which involves a sense of purpose) and persevering against obstacles. Many people focus on the second part, sticking with a goal long after they realize they don’t really want it. But having grit doesn’t mean you never change course—it may take trial and error to determine what you find both meaningful and enjoyable enough to pursue long-term.

Who came up with the concept of grit?

Psychologist Angela Duckworth brought the concept of “grit” to the public, providing evidence that talent and luck aren’t all that matter for succeeding in a challenging institutional context. Duckworth has defined grit as the passionate pursuit of long-term goals. She and her colleagues published research in 2007 introducing the Grit Scale, which they used to analyze educational achievement, persistence at a military academy, and success in a spelling bee.

Can grit be taught?

No one knows for sure. Some experts believe that since related qualities like self-discipline and motivation can be nurtured, the perseverance dimension of grit can be, too. More research is needed to determine the best practices for doing so and whether there’s an ideal timeline for developing grit in order to succeed.

What is an example of having grit?

In 1993, Andrew Wiles, a professor and mathematician, presented his completed proof of Fermat's Last Theorem. His accomplishment took grit—he worked intensely for seven years and over 15,000 hours before discovering the solution. Other gritty individuals who found success after a lot of effort (and not a few failures) include genius Albert Einstein, legendary Hollywood director Steven Spielberg, rock-and-roll icon Elvis Presley, and famous author Stephen King, among others.

Do people who have grit show it all the time?

Gritty people may not show grit to the same extent all the time. They may have particular domains (such as sports or academics) in which they show an especially high degree of passion and perseverance, relative to how they approach other areas or life in general.

The Limits of Grit

antoniodiaz/Shutterstock

In recent years, the concept of grit has received pushback from many psychologists. Some researchers contend that it is a new labeling of known traits. Grit is indeed similar to conscientiousness, a Big Five personality trait: People high in this trait are disciplined, dependable, careful, and goal-directed.

Grit is also comparable to the time-honored construct of "hope," which has been researched for decades. Hope in this context means being determined and having the will and the motivation to reach clear-cut goals.

Is grit overrated?

The notion that someone can achieve their dreams if they have grit is widely appealing today. But the concept of grit has been criticized for potentially overlapping with existing personality concepts. And it’s not clear how much grit as a whole is related to well-being, compared to similar traits or the specific component of perseverance.

Is grit really the key to success?

The elements of grit can be assets, pushing you to achieve your goals, but grit is not the only trait that matters. In addition to grit, successful people often share other qualities, like talent, intelligence, conscientiousness, optimism, and others.

How do you know if you have grit?

Gritty people can experience a failure or disappointment and keep working toward their goal. The Grit Scale developed by Angela Duckworth and colleagues is used to assess the qualities of perseverance of effort and consistency of interests. It asks people how much they agree with statements such as "I have overcome setbacks to conquer an important challenge" (perseverance) and "My interests change from year to year" (the opposite of consistency of interests).

Are grit and perseverance the same?

Perseverance is considered one key aspect of grit, but it has a long history of being linked to other psychological concepts, such as conscientiousness and hope. Perseverance appears to be more strongly related to positive outcomes than having consistent interests does.

What’s wrong with having grit?

There may be perils associated with high levels of persistence for some people. Someone’s perspective might become too single-minded and myopic to see the big picture. They might suffer fatigue or burnout from constantly striving only to be disappointed.

How to Develop Grit

Solis Images/Shutterstock

Grit gets credited as the driving force behind success in a range of areas, from school to the workplace to the home. Everyone is born with a certain amount of grit, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn to be grittier with a little effort. So, how can someone find the right balance of passion and perseverance to succeed in their objectives? Research suggests that starting early and continuing to strengthen some key areas—such as fostering optimism and a growth mindset—may contribute to making a person more “gritty.”

How do you develop grit and resilience?

Be curious and find your passion(s). Accept that you will stall and even fail on the road to achieving your goal. Do your best to view failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reason to quit on your dream. It may also help to surround yourself with gritty people.

Why do kids need grit?

Almost every child has particular interests and a desire to do well, but natural ability and IQ may not always be enough. Some children are more likely to stop trying when they face an inevitable failure or disappointment, while others pick themselves up and continue their efforts. Thus, parents and other role models have good reason to encourage children to help them become grittier.

How can grit help a student to succeed?

Angela Duckworth and colleagues found relationships between success in several settings (at West Point, in public schools, at the National Spelling Bee) and ratings on the Grit Scale. A drive to persevere may help students with a range of ability levels to make progress toward their goals even when they experience difficulties.

How can I improve my child’s grit?

One idea is to expose your child to a variety of educational, athletic, and artistic experiences to give them an opportunity to find their passion. You can also model grittiness in your own life and praise your child for their efforts and progress, rather than focusing only on their innate talents.

Question of the day - What do you think is the best way to teach kids grit and determination?

Determination & Achievement

What do you think is the best way to teach kids grit and determination?