Relationships Sundays

“All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” ― Leo Tolstoy

My mom's skill set could put Martha Stewart to shame: She's sewn gorgeous prom dresses and wedding dresses, hangs wallpaper like a pro, and knitted or crocheted basically every throw in my house. And while some of those skills skipped my generation, I definitely inherited her entertaining and cooking prowess. Thanks to years of watching her throw big bashes—think Thanksgiving for 40, holiday cocktails for 25, or summery backyard graduation parties or baby showers for 60+—I've picked up clever tricks that have served me well when I'm hosting get-togethers of my own.

And while my entertaining tends to be a bit more small scale (there's no way to fit 60 people in my backyard!), these hosting tricks work just as well for making guests feel welcome at any get-together, from intimate dinner parties to blowout bashes.

6 Hosting Tips Our Grandmas Swore By—and They Still Work Like a Charm

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Don't Be Shy About Letting People Pitch in

One lesson I learned early on: It sometimes takes a village to throw a party. For big get-togethers like Thanksgiving, my mom handled the turkey and several sides, while giving others a set item to bring. (Those who didn't love to cook were often in charge of snacks or soda.) That helped ease the burden of hosting and cooking for a crowd. Mom definitely didn't have time to make a half-dozen pies in addition to the turkey!

Potluck is always a fun way to celebrate—but even if you want to DIY most of the meal, don't be afraid to let guests who offer bring an appetizer, dessert, or a bottle of wine. (And don't be afraid to offer this yourself when you're invited over, so you can take that off your host's to-do list!)

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Take the Day Off Before a Big Party

Having a whole day to devote to party prep makes the big day go so much smoother, as you're able to make last-minute runs to the store, set up the bar and buffet, make a last-minute pre-party clean, and have some of your dishes banked and ready to go. Basically, you'll be in tip-top party shape long before the celebration begins.

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Plan Your Menu With Make Ahead in Mind

The whole point of entertaining is to actually spend time with the people you've invited—not spend the whole day in the kitchen monitoring a complicated series of last-minute dishes. Mom regularly plans her party menus so she can make things days or even weeks in advance. (Her famous holiday party meatballs are usually prepped and frozen before the invitations go out.)

Even some dishes that aren't technically make-ahead friendly may have some elements that can be prepped in advance. For instance, my mom always chops up the bread, celery, and onions for her stuffing the day before, but waits to mix and make the dish until Thanksgiving Day.

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Set Up the Party Space in Advance

This was easiest to do for our Thanksgivings, which were hosted in my parents' finished basement—so we could set up the tables several days in advance, since it wasn't in the main part of the house.

But even if you're hosting in the spaces where your family actually hangs out, you can get things in decent shape in advance. If possible, I like to do any decluttering, setting out flower arrangements, or even setting the table the day before the party, so I can focus all of my attention on the cooking the day of.

6 High-Priority Areas to Clean and Declutter Before Guests Arrive

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Break Out the Slow Cooker

Honestly, the slow cooker should be the star of the show for virtually every get-together. You can use it to make set-it-and-forget-it main courses, stellar sides (my mom put her stuffing and her mashed potatoes in her two slow cookers at Thanksgiving), or even a cozy pot of hot chocolate or mulled wine for a party.

47 Slow Cooker Recipes for When You're Craving Comfort Food

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Take Strategic Shortcuts

You don't have to hand make everything to have a successful party—and some of my mom's most delicious party dishes would definitely be called "semi-homemade." (Her famous appetizer meatballs are slow cooked in a sauce of grape jelly and chili sauce—and while she makes her own meatballs, you can always buy pre-made ones to make it even faster to pull together.)

I'm not above calling in takeout for parts of the meal, so I can focus my attention on the things I really like to make. (Hello, desserts!)

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Be Ready to Share Leftovers

There's rarely an empty bowl or platter at a party at my parents' house—so there's often plenty of food to spare at the end of the night. Mom saves takeout containers and Cool-Whip containers to let everyone take home extras. No food waste, and it's a great way to recycle and reuse containers. (Plus, no need to track down a "good" food storage container from a guest after the fact!)

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Track Your Guest List and Your Menu

If you're the type to host the same event year after year—whether that's a Friendsgiving feast or a Galentine's soiree, track who you invited, how much food you served, and how it went. (Did you have not enough dessert and too many hors d'oeuvres?)

Mom took ample notes to ensure she always remembered how many potatoes or how large a turkey (or turkeys!) she served the year prior, so she could adjust the menu as the guest list changed—or as more of my cousins became always-hungry teenagers.

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Don't Stress About It

Yeah, your guests may be wowed by an elaborate, multi-course feast, but what makes a party special isn't creating a Michelin-starred menu. So if something goes wrong, as it inevitably does, keep in mind that it's going to be something you'll love to laugh about for years to come. It may bring much more joy to share the harrowing tale of when the dog snarfed down half of the birthday cake (true story!), then you would have gotten actually eating it. Because when it comes down to it, a party is about creating memories with the people you love—and those moments will be what you treasure, not the food on the plate.

Immediate Family Relations

What is your favorite way to divide up the work for a large holiday meal?