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Mastery Mondays

Altruism & Kindness

Reaching Out To Someone Who Is Hurting

A few weeks ago I ran into an old acquaintance for the second time in two months. It was a coincidence that I couldn’t seem to forget. 

 

You see, I went to high school with this person years ago, and then we reconnected years later and then lost touch again. When I saw her now, she was in a wheelchair. Seeing her in passing at the store was not the place to check in with her, so I just said hello and we exchanged greetings. She looked very sad and withdrawn so I left it light.

 

However, I could not get over seeing her twice and feeling like she could use an encouraging word. So I sent her a message. Again, I spent some time putting together a nice message that was not intrusive but was also open to chatting if she so desired. 

 

She replied back and told me about some life altering circumstances that had happened to her in the past few years. Then she told me how much she had been struggling and that she had told only 2 people what had happened - me being the third.

 

My heart went out to her and I did my best to encourage her. I offered to bring a coffee over one day if she wanted some company. She declined, but I know she is thinking about it for the future.

 

The interaction has really left me thinking about the importance of reaching out to someone who is hurting. It’s easier not to. But as humans, let’s care for each other and lift each other up - even when it’s difficult and uncomfortable.

Recommended Movie

Field of Dreams

Kevin Costner, James Earl Jones
1989

Interesting Fact #1

If you sense that the person may be in crisis, it’s essential to ask direct questions about their feelings. You might ask, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself or ending your life?” While it can be uncomfortable, asking these questions shows the person you care and can actually provide them relief. If the person does not want to confide in you, encourage them to talk to someone they trust. You can get the conversation started by saying something like, “I noticed that …” Try to be accepting, even if you don’t agree with what they are saying. It may be a relief to them just to have someone to share their feelings with.

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #2

Being a good nonjudgmental listener is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer. Create a safe place for your friend to express their feelings. Many people experiencing a challenge or distress want to be heard, so let the person share without interruption. Try to have empathy for their situation

SOURCE

Interesting Fact #3

You may want to share stories of recovery and resilience, either from your own experiences or from others (with their permission, of course). Let your friend know that many people who face similar challenges go on to lead fulfilling lives. This can encourage hope and remind them that improvement is possible.

SOURCE

Quote of the day

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ― Charles Dickens

Article of the day - 10 Ways To Help Someone Who Is Struggling With Their Mental Health

Supporting someone who may be struggling with mental health is one of the most meaningful things you can do. Whether it’s a friend, family member or colleague, your care and understanding can make a significant difference. With nearly 1 in 5 people in the U.S. living with a mental illness, there’s a good chance someone in your circle of close friends and family is affected. Here are 10 ways to offer support effectively with Mental Health First Aid (MHFA).

1. Approach and assess for risk of suicide or harm.

Try to find a suitable time or place to start a conversation with the person, keeping their privacy and confidentiality in mind. The right setting can encourage openness and allow them to share their feelings. Look for a quiet, private setting where the person feels safe and comfortable. Avoid public places where they may feel exposed or rushed.

  1.  

If you sense that the person may be in crisis, it’s essential to ask direct questions about their feelings. You might ask, “Are you thinking of hurting yourself or ending your life?” While it can be uncomfortable, asking these questions shows the person you care and can actually provide them relief. If the person does not want to confide in you, encourage them to talk to someone they trust. You can get the conversation started by saying something like, “I noticed that …” Try to be accepting, even if you don’t agree with what they are saying. It may be a relief to them just to have someone to share their feelings with.

2. Listen without judgment.

Being a good nonjudgmental listener is one of the most valuable gifts you can offer. Create a safe place for your friend to express their feelings. Many people experiencing a challenge or distress want to be heard, so let the person share without interruption. Try to have empathy for their situation

3. Give reassurance and information.

After someone has shared their experiences and emotions with you, be ready to provide hope, useful facts and information. Start by acknowledging their feelings. Let them know that it’s OK to feel what they’re feeling — and that they are not alone. Use empathetic statements like, “I’m really sorry you’re going through this” or “It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed.” Validating a person’s emotions can help them feel heard and respected, and your reassurance can be powerful.

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You may want to share stories of recovery and resilience, either from your own experiences or from others (with their permission, of course). Let your friend know that many people who face similar challenges go on to lead fulfilling lives. This can encourage hope and remind them that improvement is possible.

4. Encourage appropriate professional help.

The earlier someone gets help, the more it can support their journey to recovery. So, it’s important to offer to help your friend learn more about the options available to them. If you sense that they’re struggling, gently suggest that they consider speaking with a mental health professional. Offer to help them find a resource. You can even accompany them to their first appointment if they feel anxious about it.

5. Encourage self-help and other support strategies.

Supporting someone with their mental health involves encouraging them to take an active role in their own wellbeing. This can be empowering and can help them build resilience. You might help them identify their support network or programs within the community, and create an emotional and physical self-care plan.

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The MHFA Action Plan (ALGEE) has five steps, which can be used in any order.

6. Check in regularly and offer practical help.

A simple message or phone call to ask how they’re doing can show that you care. Regular check-ins can help your friend feel connected and supported, reminding them they are not alone . Sometimes, the stress of daily responsibilities can feel overwhelming, so offer to help with tasks like grocery shopping, running errands or cooking meals. Practical support can alleviate some of their burdens while demonstrating that you care.

7. Educate yourself about mental health challenges.

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Understanding mental health issues will better equip you to give support. Consider getting trained in MHFA. You’ll learn about common mental health challenges, ways to help and what to look for with topics such as:

  • Common signs and symptoms of mental health challenges
  • Common signs and symptoms of substance use challenges
  • How to interact with a person in crisis
  • How to connect a person with help
  • Trauma, substance use and self-care

8. Be patient.

Recovery from mental health challenges takes time and is often not linear. Be patient and avoid pushing them to “get better” quickly. Offer support without pressure and let them know you’re there along the way.

9. Be mindful of your language.

The way you communicate can have a significant impact. Avoid using phrases that might dismiss their feelings or experiences. Instead, validate their emotions and let them know it’s OK to feel what they’re feeling.

10. Consider Becoming a MHFA Instructor.

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Learning MHFA skills and sharing them regularly with others will help you be prepared to assist your circle when they need it most. This training equips you to recognize signs of mental health challenges and guide others toward the support they need. As an Instructor, you’ll not only improve your ability to respond more compassionately and help those around you effectively, but also build a network of support that encourages open conversations about mental health.

Supporting someone with their mental health can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. By being present, understanding, and compassionate, you can play an important and even life-changing role in their journey toward healing. Your support can be a powerful reminder that they are not alone.

Together, we can make a difference by training every 1 in 15 people to address mental health and substance use challenges within their circles. Learn more about MHFA by finding a course near you.

Question of the day - What is something you wish someone had done for you in a difficult time?

Altruism & Kindness

What is something you wish someone had done for you in a difficult time?