Relationships Sundays

Love, Dating & Marriage

Getting Engaged

I remember years ago when I got engaged feeling like there was so much pressure to have "the perfect engagement story."

The truth is, for many couples, the proposal is just a moment—a beautiful, exciting moment, yes—but often not the grand, perfect moments that we are led to expect. When I got engaged, social media was just a new thing. Instagram didn’t even exist yet. Even then, the pressure to have an over-the-top type of engagement story felt heavy. The truth was that I am not a romantic type of person so those big grand gesture type of engagements are not my style. My then boyfriend and I had been discussing marriage for a while, so when he finally got down on one knee, it wasn't a complete surprise. We were outside on a beautiful summer evening - nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't about the dramatic setting; it was about the mutual commitment we were making.

The pressure for the "perfect" engagement extends far beyond the proposal itself. It includes the expectation to immediately share a flawless ring photo, to book a stunning venue, and to start planning a huge, expensive wedding. I remember everyone asking me “how did he propose?!” It is such a normal question to ask, but it always felt anti-climactic to share because it was just us on a beautiful summer evening. The truth is that it wasn’t anything special to anyone else, but it was special to us. I think what always bothers me is that people put so much focus on the event that they forget about the actual commitment you are making to your partner. We need to remember that an engagement is simply the promise to build a life together.

The real perfection in an engagement lies in the clarity and certainty of the decision. Do you genuinely want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Does this feel like the right step for your future together? If the answer is yes, then you have the perfect engagement, regardless of whether a hidden photographer captured the moment or if the ring box contained a family heirloom or a simple placeholder. Focus on the relationship, not the performance. The marriage is the goal, and the engagement is just the happy beginning.